True Buddies

Hillary was pissed. The Lewinsky affair had killed it all. She was done. She couldn’t stand this fuck any longer. And Billy knew. He had seen it in her eyes, all those years. Somehow he needed to earn her forgiveness. He yearned for redemption. He had to come up with something big. And as always when a man faces problems with his significant other, he turned to his longtime buddy for advice and help. He turned to Donnie, Donald Trump.

The plan could have been concocted by Billy and Donnie sometimes in 2008, perhaps at the Trump National Golf Club in Briarcliff Manor, New York. As they walked the rounds as usual, pitched a ball now and then, they discussed the serious matters of life. That is, Billy’s problems with Hillary. And somewhere after the 11th hole, after the ball went out of bounce again, both came up with a scheme so grand only two egomaniacs like them could have.

This was 2008, and when Donnie and Billy walked the course, it was in the midst of an acrimonious primary battle between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, the latter to become the Democrats’ nominee for president at the 2008 Democratic National Convention, August 25 – 28. Gosh, how much Billy hated Barack.

At least since the year 2000, Donnie had played with the idea of becoming president of the United States himself, if only for the immense cash returns such a run would create.
«It’s very possible that I could be the first presidential candidate to run and make money on it,» he told Forbes back then, and it was in 2016 that he finally achieved this goal.

So the plan both men hatched up after the 11th hole may have been pretty much this:

After the Obama presidency, in 2016, there would be Hillary as the candidate on the side of the Democrats. That could be arranged by the Clintons themselves, no doubt. But what was needed was a Republican candidate who at the same time was so unappealing to the broader public that the presidency would fall more or less automatically into Hillary’s hands. And because of the nomination of new Supreme Court judges ahead, it would be prudent if the Democrats not only gained the presidency but the House and Senate as well. «No problem,» Donnie may have muttered, «I give you the bad-ass, I whip those yokels ’till they vote for me, make me their candidate, and come the GOP’s loss, my name, my brand, and the cash I get from this will make their hate all worthwhile.»

And so, on some afternoon on some plushy golf course somewhere in the State of New York, the idea was born that Donald Trump would run for the presidency of the United States, be the Manchurian candidate of the Clintons, ruin the GOP and prevent the Supreme Court to become the base of right-wing activist judges. He would act as outrageously as possible, tap into conservatives’ anger and hate and desperation, all to make Hillary Clinton the 45th president.

It was a nice plan, but it had its flip-side. What if Donnie did actually win? Not just the presidential nomination of the GOP but, in fact, the presidential election as well? What if he indeed succeeded and became president? For him, not very much would change, as he would make even more money from merchandise and newly founded media outlets like Trump TV that could siphon off the ratings of other broadcasters. This was no fantasy, as Glenn Beck would prove a bit later by starting his own media outlet after having created a fiery brand on FOX News. It could make one rich and famous. So for Donnie this was a win-win, regardless of the outcome. But for Hillary, and for Billy in particular?

As the primary grew coarser and coarser, and Hillary was occupied to fight off Bernie Sanders while retaining (or rather: gaining) his support base, Donnie’s chances grew steadily. And when on November 8, 2016, the last ballot was cast and Donald Trump indeed turned out to be victorious, with the House and Senate firmly in the grip of the Republicans, there was a big smile on the real estate developer’s face. Not so on Billy’s, whose face turned alternately pale and red. Man, how dearly wished he back the times of the Monica Lewinsky affair. The cold and steely stare of his wife back then was gentle compared to the condescension and scorn he was up to as he walked to Hillary’s rooms. In fact, it was only comparable to Tony Blair’s face when confronted with the news that there hadn’t been any WMDs in Iraq.


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